For the Future

I'm writing this post more for myself to remember than for anyone else:

I don't know if Logan and I are going to have anymore kids after this little girl...but in case we do, I want to be able to look back and know what happened in this pregnancy. So far with both children I've been both anemic and had low platelet counts (the ability to clot). It's been pretty rough in different ways then it was with Cache. I mean I was sick for most of my pregnancy with Cache, but this baby has given me more physical ailment more than anything. Velzy girl dropped down into my pelvis around 32 weeks and has sat there since. From about 22 weeks I've experienced a feeling of "faintness" that didn't seem to ever go away. So with the pain in my hips along with the feeling that I might faint at any moment, this pregnancy has been pretty rough.

I know it sounds like I am complaining, and yes I am, but I want to remember. Now for the last 3 weeks, I have experienced contractions that take my breath away. I feel like the woman who cried "labor" every day. However, though I am still experiencing intense contractions, I believe that I will never have this baby. Let's not even talk about the lack of sleep that I have gotten in the the last month or so.

Logan and I had our first false labor extravaganza to the hospital (you would think by your second kid you would know when labor was truly labor), but it was good to get a run down of hospital procedures. It happened at around 36 weeks when I first started experiencing these contractions. We went to the hospital thinking this was it. Nope, just a false alarm. And here I sit, 3 weeks later, still pregnant, and more desperate than ever.

As for now, I am 2 cm dilated, 70% effaced, mucus plug lost, contractions-galore, and 40 lbs heavier than I was 10 months ago (I gained a lot of weight this round). I wish I was one of those women who love to be pregnant (and for awhile I pretended that I was), but truth be told-I hate almost everything about it except for feelings of the sweet kicking from the baby. I know it will all be worth it in the end and that I am doing one of the greatest things I can do as a woman. I hope that my experience with pregnancy will never prohibit my want of more kids in the future. I cannot wait to hopefully meet this little girl soon and I also hope that I will have as smooth a delivery as I did with Cache. I will keep on updating, but as for now I am going to park myself on the couch and wait impatienty